'becoming poorer, losing its identity'

The best pier in the worst storm by David Gray

If you are an insomniac like me, one useful thing to do during the shipping forecast are your arm exercises.

You might whack your partner a few times, but it will stop the snoring, for a bit.

I had the 3rd chemo yesterday and I now know what 'near the knuckle' means. The canula was attached between two knuckles for 'a good vein' and it hurt, a lot. The good news: I have felt nauseous but have not been sick yet. The bad news: I will not be boogying on New Years Eve as the 4th chemo is on 30th December.

I rang the people at the Benefit Centre as my doctor has given me a sick note for the next four months. Trouble is who do I give it to? me? After a long phone call, I still have to give further information about the mortgage haha, pension hahaha etc hohoho. And of course, be available for work... might be worth doing just to be sick over the boss.

Apparently on the 'Benefit' computer, (strange name), I can only be English, Welsh or Scottish. There isn'y a tick box for 1/2 English, 1/2 Scottish. Apologies Scottish cousins.

Every which way... and lose

Took the wig out for tea at the Grand Hotel. The Grand Hotel is on Brighton seafront and it's very windy. You can guess the rest. I now look like an orang-utan, except he's got more hair.

The picture makes my husband look good.

I met a fantastic lady this week who also had a wig alert in the Ashdown Forest. Her wig blew off and her dog ran after it because he thought it was a rabbit! She was great, having survived breast cancer and ovarian cancer and was an inspiration.

MORE TIPS
To stop the mouth ulcers and swollen tongues, use chlorhexidine gluconate, antiseptic mouthwash. It turns your teeth pink but it does help with the mouth problems.

My loving 'been there' sister gave me a present last week. I thought, way hey, finally an Ipad... no but nearly though. She gave me incontinence pads... and if that wasn't enough she also gave me haemorrhoid ointment, gaviscon double action pills and cystitus granules.

and here's another reason to hate Cameron:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/dec/06/cancer-patients-welfare-work-tests
what a banker

How to get through December

Forget the pills, the self-help groups and therapists.

Just surround yourself with funny people, good friends who don't bore you rigid about the economy, Christmas presents and how 'tough everything is'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4zRe_wvJw8

My Dad used to sing this, with his Glaswegian accent, whilst driving...

Oh brother, where art thou?

Two George Clooneys on the sofa? 

You wait for ages and then two turn up at once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29fiEDZdz38&feature=youtu.be

tumour humour

Hurrah for 50/50. Sounds a great film and might stop people giving me that pathetic look like they've got it and now it's their problem? I'm with Tanya Branning, screaming at your family is a good relief. If they think she looks peaky...

Ideas for Christmas presents for your sick friends
The skin needs to bathe in olive oil constantly so any moisturiser is good.
Anything to strengthen nails, cos they break. Plus daft nail varnish or a manicure.

Back to Eastenders, a punch bag maybe?
I'm still after an Ipad2, if you want to start a collection.

Snakes alive

I was warned about having a sensation like ants in my pants by Nurse Ratchet, which I have not yet had but no one told me about the snakes... In the evening my underarm doubles in size and I get the weirdest feeling like my whole gut has been invaded by writhing snakes.

Trust me you are lucky, you don't have to live with this weirdo. Poor old James, thirty years together and he ends up with a whacko for company. He's a brilliant cook and I can't taste anything. He's very patient and I am totally impatient. Well, rubbish patient all round.

The fruit salad has blocked my blog

Orange, Apple and Blackberry are offended by my angry use of some of the fruity words used in this blog so as I want my 14 year old to be able to access this, if he wants to, I have removed the offending swear words... doesn't mean I don't mumble them at inappropriate moments.

Chemo Two, revenge of the syringe

The lovely nurse Sophie said 'well, this will be like the first time'. WRONG. I have finished the 108 drugs taken over the last three days, and have had a job keeping them in my gut. I rang the hospital to ask advice and they said try the anti-sickness pills first. HaHa It was only this evening that I heard that Brighton Hospital had closed two wards because of a suspected Norovirus outbreak. No wonder they weren't welcoming anyone at the hospital who was already chucking up.

Another TIP
loads of hand cream (expensive)
(for anyone thinking what do I give the woman who has everything this Christmas, plus bits missing?)

Getting down to the knitty gritty

A fellow tit meister, Sarah, suggested knitting was a good exercise to do so I'm now onto my 15th scarf order, all handmade in Brighton, by Knitty Gritty. All the scarfs are wonderful . If you want one let me know. I've run out of money so you'll have to pay for the wool and make an enormous donation to Cancer Research UK. cancerresearchuk.org/donate 
or Macmillan http://directdebit.macmillan.org.uk.
We never forget you have a choice...

Agyness Deyn is modelling the style on the cover of Elle, 'cept hers is a jumper. and I didn't make it, and it probably cost thousands, which of course my very on-trend scarves don't.

Here's one I'll do later, thanks Zelda!

Getting wiggy with it

My friend Humphrey has the same problem, but he's a black labrador. We are both moulting profusely. Me and the wig went out for tea today, it was terrifying (and painful). TIP ONE: Think of all the stars who wear wigs, I would list them but then I'd be sued. Just imagine it's a hat if you feel self conscious. TIP TWO: let all the hair fall out before putting the wig on. With both, the wig felt dreadful and every time I adjusted it, it felt like the whole world pulling my hair (what's left of it) all at once.  Please don't be as silly as me.

Fortunately, I was with my old mate Neil and we sniggered through the whole daft thing and enjoyed some healthy juices and a delicious unhealthy tea with clotted cream and cakes.