Oh brother, where art thou?

Two George Clooneys on the sofa? 

You wait for ages and then two turn up at once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29fiEDZdz38&feature=youtu.be

tumour humour

Hurrah for 50/50. Sounds a great film and might stop people giving me that pathetic look like they've got it and now it's their problem? I'm with Tanya Branning, screaming at your family is a good relief. If they think she looks peaky...

Ideas for Christmas presents for your sick friends
The skin needs to bathe in olive oil constantly so any moisturiser is good.
Anything to strengthen nails, cos they break. Plus daft nail varnish or a manicure.

Back to Eastenders, a punch bag maybe?
I'm still after an Ipad2, if you want to start a collection.

Snakes alive

I was warned about having a sensation like ants in my pants by Nurse Ratchet, which I have not yet had but no one told me about the snakes... In the evening my underarm doubles in size and I get the weirdest feeling like my whole gut has been invaded by writhing snakes.

Trust me you are lucky, you don't have to live with this weirdo. Poor old James, thirty years together and he ends up with a whacko for company. He's a brilliant cook and I can't taste anything. He's very patient and I am totally impatient. Well, rubbish patient all round.

The fruit salad has blocked my blog

Orange, Apple and Blackberry are offended by my angry use of some of the fruity words used in this blog so as I want my 14 year old to be able to access this, if he wants to, I have removed the offending swear words... doesn't mean I don't mumble them at inappropriate moments.

Chemo Two, revenge of the syringe

The lovely nurse Sophie said 'well, this will be like the first time'. WRONG. I have finished the 108 drugs taken over the last three days, and have had a job keeping them in my gut. I rang the hospital to ask advice and they said try the anti-sickness pills first. HaHa It was only this evening that I heard that Brighton Hospital had closed two wards because of a suspected Norovirus outbreak. No wonder they weren't welcoming anyone at the hospital who was already chucking up.

Another TIP
loads of hand cream (expensive)
(for anyone thinking what do I give the woman who has everything this Christmas, plus bits missing?)

Getting down to the knitty gritty

A fellow tit meister, Sarah, suggested knitting was a good exercise to do so I'm now onto my 15th scarf order, all handmade in Brighton, by Knitty Gritty. All the scarfs are wonderful . If you want one let me know. I've run out of money so you'll have to pay for the wool and make an enormous donation to Cancer Research UK. cancerresearchuk.org/donate 
or Macmillan http://directdebit.macmillan.org.uk.
We never forget you have a choice...

Agyness Deyn is modelling the style on the cover of Elle, 'cept hers is a jumper. and I didn't make it, and it probably cost thousands, which of course my very on-trend scarves don't.

Here's one I'll do later, thanks Zelda!

Getting wiggy with it

My friend Humphrey has the same problem, but he's a black labrador. We are both moulting profusely. Me and the wig went out for tea today, it was terrifying (and painful). TIP ONE: Think of all the stars who wear wigs, I would list them but then I'd be sued. Just imagine it's a hat if you feel self conscious. TIP TWO: let all the hair fall out before putting the wig on. With both, the wig felt dreadful and every time I adjusted it, it felt like the whole world pulling my hair (what's left of it) all at once.  Please don't be as silly as me.

Fortunately, I was with my old mate Neil and we sniggered through the whole daft thing and enjoyed some healthy juices and a delicious unhealthy tea with clotted cream and cakes.

Closest I'll get to Brazil

The books said 10 to 14 days after the first session of chemo, and they were right, they just didn't say how... Like most, i was dreading the hair loss. I knew it was going to happen I just didn't know when. According to all the clever chaps, it was all coming off, no chemo cap was going to get in the way of this baby. And an extremely large baby is what I am going to look like.

All the books say you'll lose your hair but it will grow back, maybe curly...

I wanted to know how it falls out. Do you wake up one morning shivering and think 'oh that's right all my hairs gone?' Not in my case...  it doesn't come out in one go. It chooses a location.

Now unhairy legs would be good. Even though winter's here, no. Susie would prefer me with unhairy arms, sorry Sooz, not yet... Put it this way, I'll never have to wax my bikini line again (for folks who know me, they know how hysterically funny that idea really is.)
I was sometimes called Smithy, now it's Sniffy. And I haven't got a cold, the runny nose is cos there's no hair in my nostrils.


Maybe now I should be called Tin Tin.

11.11.11

thinking about my brilliant, grumpy old Dad today.

He was a Desert Rat, made Himler sweep the guard's room and a Major in the Black Watch. He and his troops relieved Fecamp and were thanked by the Monks who brewed the vile green stuff in the beautiful monastery who proceeded to get him and his division totally plastered on Benedictine. He said it was the worst hang over he ever had. Then he named me after D Day, I suppose it could have been Deirdre...

He survived all of this just to become an error in the system, the way old people are treated currently. The urine filled ward in Elm Grove Hospital, Brighton has since been closed. I'm afraid even the nurses there should have been ashamed of themselves. Nobody cared.

The family finally got him moved back to the General hospital where weeks later he died, but at least with a tiny bit of dignity. I loved him loads.

SuSpense is...

a bit of encouragement from Jamaica

chemo 'baby brain' and the bits no-one tell you about

nobody tells you about the 'baby brain'. Thanks.* I think like childbirth, everyone forgets the bad bits. I thought I was going mad. Currently I have No memory at all, then a few lucid moments when I think all this isn't really happening...

CONSTIPATION
anything with codeine in it is going to bung you up. Senna is best, or Ayrton as we call it.
MOUTH ULCERS
they creep up on you and then you can't eat a thing. Bonjela Complete plus
(another daft name) and the 'temporary discomfort sensation' is code for it hurts like hell.
COLD FINGERS
no idea why this happens but it does.
PARACETAMOL WITH CAFFEINE
not a good idea after lunchtime

*Thanks, lovely Lisa, the Macmillan nurse. Macmillan are brilliant and need any spare dosh you may have.